I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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