It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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