i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
These tits shall not be calmed
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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