Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
