We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
