literally had 100 drinks last night.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
