What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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