don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
