I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
NoShamevember. You game?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize