make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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