I'm laying in your front yard are you home
id be glad to
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
