You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
