just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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