Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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