My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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