i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Are we still banned from the library?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
