I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
