When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
