I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
