is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dignity is for republicans.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
They took my balls.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
