If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
