I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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