I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
