On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You dont lie about slip and slides
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
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