it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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