if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
