yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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