you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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