I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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