i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize