Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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