people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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