i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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