We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
