i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
