Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
