Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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