hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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