i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
