last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
