marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
her vagine was all disorganized.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
