You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
