it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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