Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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