My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
