new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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