i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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