vagina is talking i cant
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
