If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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