He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
