I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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