1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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