Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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