Kiss
Puke
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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