Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
