i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
