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what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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