Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
