I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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