I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
